Out of the Closet
by Bro. Juan Roberts
As we rapidly race into the American holiday season, I have been reflecting on when I was jet setting around the planet as a creative director. My life was a constant flow of meetings, television sets, studios and business meals. My usual challenge was ‘what to do’ during meals – namely, whether to say grace or to participate in toasts in front of my unsaved business associates.
The Set-Up
As a young executive, there I was, amidst the revelry, enjoying myself with folks that were not talking only about church or the Lord. I admit it. I genuinely need to interact with a broad range or people then … now. But I digress. There I was hanging out with worldly laughter and sustenance. Invariably, someone would offer a toast on something/anything and everyone would pick up their glasses to join in. At that moment, I had a decision to make, a decision that would paint me one-of-them or separate-from them. What does a blood washed, Holy Ghost filled young man do in a situation like that? Hmmm...
Looking back, I realize that I was living in the closet. With all of my Holy Ghost power, I was afraid of what my colleagues/associates/boss would think of me. Would they think of me as some Jesus freak, thus no longer Juan, but an imposter who should be shunned for upcoming professional opportunities that should go to those ‘authentically’ in the club? On the flip side, wasn’t I supposed to prefer to be looked upon as peculiar? Had the Lord set me up for this challenge? Definitely. Would I pass it? Hmmm
The Closet
I currently know many saved executives and professionals that hit me up to discuss coming out of the closet. While others are on lock-down, they are silently isolating themselves while with a room full of vibrant people and activities.
One of the traits of living in the closet is martyrdom. I would walk around wearing my non-disclosure like a badge of honor that no one but me and the Lord were aware of. Yeah, I acted like I was honoring the Lord by suffering for Him – ha! What I soon realized is that if I were to truly submit to the power of the blood of Jesus, then there really would be no weapon formed against me that would prosper. It still took a while to overcome my private confinement.
Conversion
Over time I developed a series of techniques to disguise my non-participation in toasts – sometimes I would order seltzer water early in the evening and fill my flute with it, the bubbles look similar, especially if I mixed in a little tea. To say grace, I developed a compulsive personal style of adjusting my place setting as soon as I settled in my seat. As I made these adjustments, I would say grace over the entire table. Really.
I learned a lot as I began to work internationally and discovered that the world outside of the US has a completely different perception of religion and personal convictions towards God -- even if it was only in ceremonial observances. Europe, Asia and Africa observe holiday seasons at all times of the year, depending upon which religion you ascribe to. There are so many differing expressions of reverencing God that they have learned to respect each other’s beliefs – something urban Christians could learn from. (Oops, did I say that out loud. Excuse me.)
Coming Out
Over time, I became more bold about expressing my convictions and began to openly say grace and decline toasts or I toasted with obviously alternative liquids than alcohol. To my astonishment, no one ever said anything negative. I realized that the devil had roared in my mind/spirit so loudly that I never heard/felt the Lord encouraging me to resist the wiles that were so easily besetting me.
Finally, I was living out of the closet. Expressing another aspect of holiness to the world and proud of it. A cornerstone of my company, Urban Christian Entertainment, is to be able to affirmatively represent my faith in any setting – personal or professional.
This testimony is written for the young execs and professionals that are still in the closet. Find a way to be who the Lord intended you to be. I know the adversary is boasting a lot of what could happen, but I encourage you to listen to another voice and you will soon know that, in Christ, you are unstoppable. Enjoy life. All of it … among them, but not of them.
Cheers to you, in Jesus name,
Bro. Juan Roberts
juan@urban-christian.com
© 2006 Urban Christian Entertainment. Limited Rights Reserved
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