The Incarnation...Of You
By Randall Bonser

Christmas still blows my mind. Not because of the gifts and food and beautiful music, although I love that stuff, too.

The fact that God loves us so passionately that he took on flesh and came to live in our neighborhood still bring tears to my eyes. We call it the Incarnation, because it literally means “embodied in flesh.” The idea is that a higher being gives up his rights and enters the world of a lower being. 

Dads, we need to be more like God all the time, and especially as it relates to “taking on flesh.” We have a tendency sometimes to live outside the realm of our children’s lives because we’re busy earning the paycheck and leading our church and pursuing our leisure activities. We become too busy to get down to the level of our kids and walk in their little size 3 shoes.

Playground Games
The Bible says that although Christ was God himself, he chose to humble himself and take the form of a servant for our sakes (Phil. 2). That’s a great example in taking the initiative to establish a love relationship. For you to “incarnate” into the life of your son, maybe that means playing a game of hide and seek.

I did that last night with my 6-year old son and his friends at a public playground. It’s a little humbling to run around and hide while the parents sit on the edges and watch with amusement, but it pays huge dividends. I haven’t had that much fun with my son in a long time. Today he wants to play again.

Have you gone to school to eat lunch with your daughter? Maybe it’s time to take a few hours off in the middle of the day and “incarnate” yourself into her school routine. She is so proud of you, she’ll beam with pride as you squeeze yourself onto the bench between her friends. I know, I did that a couple weeks ago. The food was awful; the connection was incredible.

Starting Early
Whom are your children going to talk to when they hit their teenage years? Their friends, yes, of course. But if you’ve incarnated yourself into their lives and routines, they will naturally seek you out. They won’t be able to help it – you will have created a communication pattern that establishes you as a primary confidant.

Maybe you didn’t grow up with a  dad in the home, or maybe your dad was so emotionally distant it just seemed like he wasn’t there. Either way, what better reason to humble yourself and take on the flesh of a kid and jump into your children’s world for a few minutes each day! How else will you know what they’re thinking and struggling with?

Here are a few suggestions for incarnating yourself into your children’s world:

• Eat lunch with your child at school – and yes, eat what they eat
• Wrestle with your children – have a tag team right on the floor
• Institute a “game night” where your children get to choose the games you play – they may be board games or – horror! – “performing” games
• Host a talent show where everyone in the family performs at what they’re good at – even if that is telling childish jokes or making up a story in front of everyone
• Get in cahoots with your children to make Mom a gift – let everyone be creative
• Sit down at the table and help with your child’s homework – establish yourself as the “answer man”, even if it’s in a subject you have to study yourself

If this list looks like something your wife would normally do, there is a good reason for that. Most dads are passive when it comes to spending time with their kids, letting mom do most of the heavy lifting. It’s time to do what Jesus did and incarnate yourself into the world of your little ones.

It may be humbling, but look on the bright side – at least you won’t have to sleep in a feeding trough.

Copyright © 2008 by Randall Bonser. All Rights Reserved.

About Randy...

Contact Randy at rbwrite@charter.net