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Singing for Change: Rap Artist DMC wants to make it easier to find one’s birth parents.
After discovering he was adopted, Darryl McDaniels(DMC of RUN-DMC) encounters policies that complicate an adoptee’s quest for the truth. Now he sings about his experience on his new CD.
by Ann Brown
Darryl McDaniels' life totally changed five years ago. Half of the legendary rap duo, Run-DMC, McDaniels was writing a book about his experiences when the unimaginable happened. "I wanted to include some stuff about my birth and childhood, so I called my mom up," recalls McDaniels. "The book I was writing was King Of Rock: Respect, Responsibility, and My Life With Run-DMC. My mom gave me my time of birth, weight. Then we hung up and a few minutes later, she called back and said do you remember the time Father So-and-so came by the house. I remembered it because when you're young and a teacher comes over to your house it is a big deal. Well, my mother said, that was the day we finalized your adoption. Adoption! Here I was 35 years old finding out for the first time I was adopted."
Admittedly McDaniels says he didn't know what to do, where to turn. "I instantly saw my whole life flash before my eyes. It changed my whole world. I questioned my whole existence--why did my birth mother give me up, all that," says McDaniles, who rose to fame with Run-DMC in the early '80s, becoming the first rap group to crossover and achieve international stardom.
Even though he was more than curious about his birth parents he wasn't ready to even consider trying to find them. "My mother said she'd help me find my birth mother, but I wasn't there yet. I didn't want to deal with it yet," recalls the native New Yorker McDaniels. "I started drinking again. When Run DMC was at its peak, it was drugs, sex and rock and roll until the doctor told me I had pancreatitis and that I could continue to drink and die or stop drinking and live. I stopped drinking. Now after all that time, I was drinking again, 24-7. My wife kept saying it was because I found out I was adopted, but I brushed her off. I just didn't want to deal with it."
But that wasn't all McDaniles had to deal with. His father died and Jam Master Jay, the long-time friend and DJ for Run-DMC, was shot to death in his Jamaica, Queens, studio. That murder still remains unsolved. It all sent McDaniles reeling. "My whole world was being turned upside down," he says.
Finally, after McDaniles found peace to reflect. "I started thinking about how being adopted was the best thing that ever happened to me," says McDaniels as if a light went off in his head. "If I had not been adopted I would have never moved to Hollis. I would have never met Run or Jay and there never would have been Run DMC." He started taking action. "I joined Adoptees Anonymous and started attending sessions to understand and to talk to other people who had been adopted. I also started thinking about what had happened to me 10 years before."
His adoption brought up old wounds and actually made DMC fit all the pieces together. "Ten years ago, in 1997, I had started questioning my existence. I don't know why but I was," says McDaniels. "I wanted to go from boy to man but didn't know how to do it. I was wondering why I was here. I was thinking, well if I was just put here to do RunDMC, then that was it. It was over for me. I was tired of rapping about what type of sneakers I wore. I had done that. I was tired of rapping about being the king of rock--everyone knew it. I was tired of taking about all the stuff I had." So, at the time, McDaniels looked at his like and didn't want to live anymore. "I figured, it this was it and this was all there was for me, and then it was time to check out. I started having suicidal thoughts," he admits freely. "I was ready to move onto my next life. I was ready to check out even though I had a wife and child. I just didn't want to be around anymore. And I remember Run, Jay (this was before he was murdered), and I were on the road in London. We were making $75,000 a gig because they really still loved us in Europe, but I was contemplating how I was going to kill myself when I got home. I was telling people I was going to do it. I thought about ways to kill myself--I knew I wasn't going to jump, so I was thinking about poison. I was thinking about shooting myself."
But it seemed fate intervened. "Do you know what stopped me? Sarah McLachlan saved my life," says an excited McDaniels. "Her song 'Angel' came on the radio and I just listened to the words. It kept me alive. I listened to nothing but Sarah McLachlan for a whole year. I later met her at a party, which I didn't feel like going to but my manager dragged me to, and told her that her song saved my life. She had just finished telling me how she loved RunDMC and here I am telling her all this stuff. She looked at me
like I was crazy but then said, well that's what music is supposed to do and walked away."
Again DMC, has an ah-moment. "I realized she was right--music was and does change people's lives," he explains. "John Lennon's 'Imagine' had changed my life when I was younger. So why can't I use my music to change lives? I had always been into classic rock and I wanted to do something different from RunDMC and use my music to help people." Suddenly, McDaniels says his life was starting to make since, and when he found out he was adopted it all made sense. "When I found out I was adopted it all started to fall into place. Maybe there was a reason I felt so alone and out of place 10 years earlier. Maybe it was because I had still to find out who I was. Maybe I heard the song 'Angel,' met Sarah McLachlan because I was supposed to figure out a way to use my music. To give it purpose. It was all falling into place."
Now McDaniles set out to find out who he was. 'I was ready to find my birth mother. My mother said all she knew was that my birth mother was 16 when she had me, she told me what she thought her name was and that she was Dominican. Dominican! I started to find out as much as I could about the Dominican Republic. I bought books. I got books on how to learn Spanish. You could have told me my mother was Jamaican, Chinese and I would have done the same thing. I found that people who are adopted start to l latch onto any bit of information they can find," he says. "I went to find more information. I started out in the Genealogy department in the library. When they issue your birth certificate, everything can change but they keep one of the numbers. So I looked up my number in the records and found out where I was born. I went to Harlem Hospital to find out more information. They weren't supposed to help me, but they helped me as much as they could. I found out my birth name was Darryl, so that was cool to know my mother named me."
But McDaniles didn't go on his search alone. He invited a VH-1 camera crew to follow him for a documentary (which aired earlier this year)--but according to McDaniles, who has a new CD out (his first solo) it wasn't for publicity but for a purpose. "In certain states the birth records are sealed if you are adopted. This is one reason I decided to have a film crew follow me, while I was searching," he explains. "I am hoping to help get the birth records unsealed for adopted kids in case they want to find their families. There are a lot of reasons why you need this information, the big one is medical. You need to know your birth parents medical history. But the biggest reason for me is that you just don't know who you are. You can't start a book on chapter 2." DMC also hired outside help." I hired a private investigator to help me. She was adopted as well and because she had helped other adoptees find their birth families," he explains. "She got all the information almost right away. I found out where my birth mother lived and I called her. Oh, she wasn't Dominican.
I was lucky because they wanted a reunion and the reunion went well. You know, it's not just about you finding out who you are but this whole thing changes everything for everyone one. Your adopted parents start to wonder why you want to find your birth family, weren't they good enough? Didn't they treat your well? Then, you're bringing a whole bunch of stuff to the birth family that they might not want to deal with. It is just a lot of stuff…I went into therapy and took the cameras into my therapy sesessions. My therapist thinks I am crazy, but I recommend therapy to anyone who has been adopted. You need help getting though it."
But DMC when though with the meeting and it went well. "I met my birth mother and found out I had two brothers and a sister. One brother, who wears glasses, had always been told he looked like DMC from RunDMC," he says almost in awe. "It was great seeing people who looked like me. It's been great getting to know them."
Now it was time for his music again--finally. "I talk about all of this on my new album," says McDaniels of “Checks, Thugs and Rock And Roll,” a departure for his hip-hop roots the album his rock influenced. "And I got Sarah to remake 'Time In A Bottle with Me.' I had to have her on the album and I had to do that song. And you know after we finished it she told me that she was also adopted."
McDaniles’ life seems to be full of coincidences and ironic twists, but he can deal with it all now he says. "I want people to listen to the album and see what I went through and find inspiration. I also sing about things that affect everyone, like the war," he says. "I am no longer wondering what my purpose it. It is great to be Darryl McDaniels. I know who I am."
Copyright © 2006 Ann Brown
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 Ann Brown is a New York-based writer whose works have appeared in Black Enterprise, Upscale, The Source, Essence, and Today's Black Woman. She produced and co-hosted "The Julie Brown Show" (a national radio syndication based in L.A. and hosted by Downtown Julie Brown) and co-hosted and co-produced the former NYC TV show "The Trend On TV." Ann received her BA in journalism for NYU.
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