A Commentary About People, Places and Things
by Jeffery A. Faulkerson, MSSW

Tyler Perry’s “Why Did I Get Married?”
By Jeffery A. Faulkerson

On October 20th, my wife Regina and I got a chance to see Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married?" To say that this film was Perry's best would be an understatement, as it touched on themes that answer the question being posed. It also offered hope for those individuals who think they may never want to get married.

For the first time in his illustrious career, Perry got a chance to act without having to change into his Madea costume. And believe me when I tell you that he is a pretty good actor, as his Terry character did a great job moderating the drama in his own life and that of the other characters. But our hearts skipped a beat over the drama that Jill Scott's character Sheila went through. Weight issues and the cheating ways of her husband Mike were the sources of her pain. In the end, though, Sheila was the one character that told us all that the reason you get married is because the men and women involved in these relationships want to be givers of love rather than merely takers.

As someone who has dedicated his life to "promoting functional families through words and deeds," I applaud Perry's efforts to cast black American couples and black American families in a positive light. Hollywood is known for producing black films that focus on the hardships being endured by disadvantaged Blacks, but says nothing about those Blacks who have taken hold of the American dream. The images that Perry's Tyler Perry Studios are showing us on the big screen—and on the stage—are great for America. And if he continues at this pace, gaining cross-over appeal, he will be the one, black, media pioneer having the most impact on white people's understanding of the Black Diaspora. He will also give young, black Americans a vision for the future—one in which they accomplish great things in school, work and life.

But in accomplishing these things, young black Americans must also have a foundation – a moral compass – that allows them to remain committed to their spouses through the thick and the thin.  They are currently being told that they must have sexual relations with multiple partners before settling down with one person.  Young, black American women with children grow up believing that they and their children don’t need a man.  Conversely, many young, black men with children are leaving their women and children because they don’t feel needed or they want to continue to live the life of Rolling Stones.

If success is measured merely in dollars and cents, it may be true that don’t need each other.  But when individuals consider the trials and tribulations that go along with making these dollars and cents, and while raising a child—or the costs of abandoning a child—it is my hope that both the young, black mothers and young, black fathers will come to realize that they do indeed need their mate’s unconditional support, and so do their children.

It warms my heart knowing that all of the characters in Tyler Perry’s film are married, even though each of the couples was dealing with serious issues in their relationship.  With an increasing number of Americans choosing not to get married, it is imperative that we married couples counteract this spirit of selfishness and independence that is allowing the black American family collective from being reconstituted.  The future of Black America rests in our young people’s ability to redefine themselves for future generations of Americans what it means to be black in America.  And it would be great if this new definition was a positive one rather than one that support the modern-day status quo.         

But again, my hat goes off to Tyler Perry.  You have portrayed us black Americans in a positive light.  For that, I say thank you.  Continued success, my brother, in all that you do. 

© 2007 Jeffery A. Faulkerson.  All rights reserved.

About the Author

Jeffery A. Faulkerson is the Founder, President & CEO of PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS, a faith-based social service practice with for-profit offerings in communications/media relations and nonprofit offerings in parent education and support, postsecondary advising and planning, and conference planning, coordination and implementation.   A stay-at-home parent since August 2005, he has dedicated himself to "promoting functional families through words and deeds."
 
Mr. Faulkerson is a 1998 graduate of the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, where he received his Master's of Science degree in Social Work Management and Community Practice.  He is the author of Raising My V.O.I.C.E. (Verbalizing Orderly Impressions through Creative Endeavors) (www.buybooksontheweb.com), which chronicles his sixteen-year quest to understand why Americans focus so much on their differences, not enough on their similarities.  He has been happily married to his wife Regina for over 14 years, and is the proud father to three-year-old Caleb.  He and his family currently reside in Wake Forest, North Carolina.

Contact Jeffery at:
http://www.practicalwritingeditingconsulting.com