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Turning Boys Into Men: The Future Black Men of America, Inc. When Antoine Medley graduated from Virginia Tech back in 1994, he probably never imagined he would be working part-time in the nonprofit sector, helping young, black boys become responsible black men. But that is exactly what he is doing as Executive Director of the Raleigh, North Carolina-based Future Black Men of America, Inc. (FBMA). The nonprofit organization has only been in existence since 2004, but it has already gained attention from the likes of the 21st Century Foundation, and, most recently, the Next Generation of African-American Philanthropists (NGAAP), a giving circle comprised of young, black professionals living in the Triangle, North Carolina area. Just three months ago, NGAAP awarded the organization a $1,000 mini-grant to further develop its capacity to reach its target population. The 21st Century Foundation considers it one of many model programs that are working to foster more positive outcomes for black American males, listing it as a participant in the Black Men and Boys Initiative that it administers in collaboration with the Ford Foundation. According to Medley, the FBMA has served about 30 boys since its inception. “A majority of them have been (upper) elementary and middle school students,” Medley says. “We feel we have something positive to give them. We (FBMAboard members and adult mentors) were once boys ourselves. And we view and talk to them as if they were our sons. At times, we give them tough love, talking with them in a way that doesn’t sugarcoat things for them.” The Man and His Vision
These parental words of encouragement motivated Medley to enroll and thrive on the Virginia Tech campus. His initial intent was to secure a degree in Mechanical Engineering, but he ultimately decided to major in Economics, with minors in Statistics and Math. Today, he is using this knowledge in his job as an Information Technology Contractor with RTL Networks. This job has enabled him to provide a very comfortable lifestyle for his wife Cynthia and daughters Morgan (age 4) and Clarke (age 2). Kirt Bennett, the first Executive Director of the Young Leaders Academy of Baton Rouge, Inc., provided the inspiration that Medley needed to conceive the FBMA. Medley says he was watching the Oprah Winfrey Show when he first heard about what Bennett was doing with and for young, black boys in Louisiana. In existence since June 1994, the Young Leaders’ Academy’s mission is to “nurture the development of leadership abilities of young African-American males, empowering them to improve the quality of their lives and assist them in becoming productive citizens.” “He (Bennett) had boys on the show who talked about their experiences (at the Academy).” Medley says. “That prompted me to make a conference call to some of my college friends, relatives and church members (at Baptist Grove Church). Every person I spoke with was very encouraging, said this is something I could, and should, do.” Enriching the Lives of Young Black Boys When addressing their adult advisors, Mr. usually precedes the adult advisor’s first name. The boys seem to respect their elders, and value the time that these men spend with them, time that the adult mentors could be using to cultivate better relationships with their wives and children. Antoine Medley, or simply Mr. Antoine, writes on the FBMA website that the “current education gap between young African-American boys and other races is quickly widening; therefore, all of the FBMA programs are geared toward closing this gap.” These programs include college tours (done in collaboration with Keith Shannon, an FBMA adult mentor and President & CEO of the nonprofit organization Preparing America’s Tomorrow Today), community activities and mentoring. The group also meets once a week, either on Thursday evenings or Saturday afternoons, to engage in enrichment activities that afford the boys opportunities to fine tune their critical thinking skills. During one of their most recent Saturday morning enrichment meetings at the Wade Edwards Learning Lab, which is just on the outskirts of downtown Raleigh, the boys talked about the masks that people wear. Many of the boys said they oftentimes have to wear masks just to perform at a high level at their respective schools. Mr. Deron (Medley), FBMA’s Co-Director, as well as Mr. Antoine’s younger brother, comments on the boys’ regard for their teachers. “If you like your teacher, you’re going to be one way in that classroom,” he says. “If you don’t like the teacher, you’re going to have a mean mind on your face.” DaQuan Render, a high school freshman, says his academic performance is sometimes predicated on how well he likes the teacher. “If I like my teacher, I have no problem doing the work,” he says. “But if I don’t like the teacher, you’ll see that my grades are low in that class. However, this statement is immediately followed by a question from Mr. Antoine, who asks, “Who’s that hurting?” “It’s hurting me, I know,” DaQuan replies. “But I’ve just been doing it (this way) for so long that it has become a habit. “Habits can be broken,” Mr. Antoine snaps back at him. Mr. Deron nods his head in agreement. The discussion continues with many of the boys saying they must wear the right kind of clothes and communicate in a way that shows that they are “down” with being black. But then the question is raised about whether their masks as black Americans are any different than the ones worn by other ethnic groups. “White people act a certain way sometimes,” Stephen Sullivan, an eighth grade member, contributes. “They act proper.” “Is that a mask or should we be acting that way anyway?” Mr. Antoine asks. “Yeah,” Stephen replies. “You should act that way, but you’re from a different background than they are, so you talk differently than they do.” Mr. Deron proposes that the masks that black Americans wear are dictated by stereotypes. DaQuan builds on this thesis, saying, “Black men have had it hard; our ancestors did too. We have to try harder to do simple things that maybe some other ethnic groups have an easier time doing. We have to go the extra mile just to prove we’re on their level. And I don’t think it should be like that. But then people start believing the stereotypes, saying all black guys are bad. It gets frustrating sometimes, that you have to act a certain way around the person just because of what a few of us do.” Parents Behaving…Appropriately Mr. Antoine says that the FBMA is more about the business of positively impacting the attitudes that govern the boys’ behaviors in their schools and communities. “We would rather see an F student become a C student with a sense of reality,” he says. “If they need additional resources (just to make the grade), we’ll make the necessary referrals.” John Evans III is the stepfather to one of the boys, Malik Willoughby, a seventh grader. Malik has been participating in the program for about seven months. Evans says he learned about the program from his mother-in-law, who researched it and e-mailed Mr. Antoine with a request for additional information. “The process (for getting my stepson enrolled) was easy,” Evans says. “Of course, you wanted to read the material, make sure you understood everything about what the program was saying and what it’s trying to do. We learned that it covers all aspects, not only child behavior but academics as well.” Mr. Evans says Malik’s participation in the program is a long-term commitment. “We want him to learn how to make the right choices and the right kind of connections. These boys are motivated to do something with their lives; otherwise they wouldn’t be in the program to begin with. You can see it on their faces when they’re discussing different topics.” Mr. Evans’ vision for Malik, which he shares with his wife Franchelle and his stepson’s biological father Marlon Willoughby, is that he gains a better understanding of himself and what he can become. “I want him to learn that he doesn’t necessarily have to go and work for someone else,” he says. “He can educate himself and then go out and own his own business, go out and design, create and establish his own business. That’s the biggest vision we have for him, that of being an entrepreneur. Being able to not only have the credentials to back that up as well, but to have the opportunity to realize that he can do it on his own.” The Wisdom of a Mentor Maurice Hargraves is the author of A More Perfect Union, a memoir about his journey from socialization to realization that he self-published back in 2006. A retired officer from the United States Marine Corp, he has been an active FBMA member for the past six months. Mr. Maurice says he first became involved because of the need. “It’s no secret as to what young, black men are challenged with in today’s society,” he says. “There are many people who are in my station in life that don’t get involved, which is why we have the situation in life that we do, where we see so many people going to prison, making bad decisions, or things of that nature. So, I thought I could help. If my presence does that then it is two hours well spent on a Saturday or a Thursday.” The boys would probably tell you that Mr. Maurice’s contributions have been invaluable. During the Saturday enrichment activity about masks, he allowed the boys to hold four wooden masks that he picked up during his travels to Africa. The boys marveled at the level of detail displayed in each mask, exuding pride in the fact that these details are reminiscent of whom they are as descendents of African people. Mr. Maurice says he has seen a great deal of growth in the four or five boys that attend every week. “It’s not about quantity,” he says, “it’s about quality. Just the development in that small group of people has been tremendous.” The State of the Black Union The youth and adult members of Future Black Men of America, Inc. did not have the best seats in the house when they traveled to Hampton, Virginia in February to attend television and radio personality Tavis Smiley’s State of the Black Union 2007 (they were seated in the upper decks to the right of the stage), but each of them would probably tell you that they were just happy to be in the Hampton University Convocation Center with individuals like civil rights leader Jesse Jackson, Sr., children’s advocate Marian Wright Edelman, college professor Dr. Cornel West, activist Al Sharpton and writer Sonya Sanchez. After enduring a long wait outside the center in the cold, they finally got a chance to attend two panel discussions featuring the aforementioned individuals, as well as other dignitaries from the worlds of education, industry, entertainment and sports. Asked what lessons he learned from the panel discussions, Jeremy Sullivan, a high school junior, says, “That you control your own destiny. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Stand up for what you’ve done; learn from the past so that you can build a stronger foundation for the future.” Parent Morris Watson says he was pleased that he was able to travel with the FBMA and his son Trey, one of the youngest FBMA members. Trey is only in the fifth grade. “I just hoped that he (Trey) would get a better understanding (of his history) from me, but also other black males,” Watson says. “I think all black males should be exposed to it (the State of the Black Union symposiums) so they’ll have more of an impact on their community. There’s not enough male leadership (in our communities), because you have a lot of single parents. We need more Big Brother programs, and for more of our churches to start stepping up.” The Future is Now With more young, black American males winding up in prisons than on college campuses, one has to wonder why churches and other civic organizations aren’t doing more to address this problem. The answer to this question may continue to elude us, resulting from the fact that this problem is connected to so many other ones. One thing is for certain, though: the organization known as Future Black Men of America, Inc. is here to stay. And its success will hinge on how many of its young members matriculate through high school and college to become gainfully employed as men, as well as responsible leaders in homes that they reside in with their wives and children. ### © 2007 Jeffery A. Faulkerson. All rights reserved.
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Antoine Medley is the oldest of four boys raised in a two-parent household in Halifax, Virginia, a small textile and furniture manufacturing community that sits a few miles north of the Virginia/North Carolina state line. Even as a child, Medley says he was always trying to set a positive example for others, especially for his younger siblings. “I never wanted them to use me as an excuse for not making something of their lives,” Medley said. “Our parents always encouraged us to do well in school, have more than what they had.”
Jeffery A. Faulkerson is the President & CEO of PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS Writing, Editing, Consulting, a professional services firm with offerings in the areas of communications/media relations, parent education and support, postsecondary advising and planning, and conference planning, coordination and implementation.