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Holly Robinson Peete
Stars In Her Most Cherished Role:
Wife and Mother of Four
A Keeping Family First Exclusive Interview
by Anita S. Lane
Moments before going live on CNN Showbiz Tonight, Holly Robinson Peete takes one last interview (this one) after a long day on her press tour in New York City . Today, this mother of four doesn’t have to hide herself in the closet to conduct an interview uninterrupted by four little people. Fortunately, her recently retired NFL husband Rodney Peete, is holding down the fort—on his way to Back-to-School-Night with kids in tow.
A slight role reversal, Holly Robinson Peete is the one who is away from home, promoting her latest endeavors—her new book dedicated to helping women learn the game of football, and her new TV show, Love, Inc.
A veteran actress, in 1986 Holly Robinson won a starring role on the hit series 21 Jump Street as Officer Judy Hoffs (she even sang the show's theme song). She then starred opposite Mark Curry in the hit television comedy series Hangin' with Mr. Cooper. Holly portrayed Diana Ross in the miniseries, The Jacksons: An American Dream, and she starred in the cable television movie, Killers in the House and the original BET movie, After All.
In real life, Holly Robinson Peete plays the multiple roles of mom, wife, actress, philanthropist, clothing designer, and author. But it is clear which roles she’s most passionate about.
Holly, you’re a very busy woman. How do you keep family first?
Everything that I do is geared around my kids. I’m always thinking of them first. For instance, I do work and I love doing my sitcom, but I would only do a sitcom—the half-hour life—because it allows me take the kids to school and pick them up. So everything that I do, I always think How is this going to impact my children and the time I spend with them… That’s always the first thing I think of. I love to work and do all the things that I do. My plate is always full and I want them to see me hustling and getting stuff done. Lead by example.
Do you ever feel as though you have to choose between your family and your career? No. I’ve never felt that way. Every now and then there’s a little thing that makes me feel a little guilty—like even coming here this week. But now my husband is retired. So now I really feel as though a weight has been lifted off of me. Before, it was kind of hard because I had the kids and I was working and I would get on a plane with them and fly them to see their dad—cross country sometimes. Now, with him being home, he’s truly stepping up to the plate and relieving the pressure.
Tell us about your new sitcom, Love, Inc.
It’s a cute concept actually—I’m really excited about it. It’s about love in the big city. My character owns a dating service. It’s kind-a-sorta based on the movie “Hitch.”
A little like, "Hitch” over-the-top. Your “wingmen” and “wingwomen” actually go on the dates with clients…
Yes. It’s very interactive. It’s a very all purpose dating service. We go out into the field with you and make sure you succeed.
You play a divorcee who is the owner of the dating service. Are there any parallels between you and Clea?
Not really. “A,” she doesn’t have any children; “B” she’s getting divorced and “C” her husband left her for a 25 year old woman. Now last I checked my husband was headed to Back-to-School night. So hopefully, he knows what’s good for him—he’ll head right to school and won’t stop.
It’s fun to go play a character that’s unlike you. Clea doesn’t seem like she has a maternal bone in her body and obviously…that’s what I do.
As you are well aware, there is a lot of divorce taking place in America today. About ½ of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Does that statistic personally bother you? It really bothers me when there are kids involved. If you want to get divorced with no kids, that’s your prerogative—I don’t care. But when it impacts children—that I think, is really bad. I don’t necessarily believe in staying together because of the kids if that’s a bad environment for them to be in, but before you have children you have to think really long and hard about how stable your relationship is. Because it just gets complicated and most adults are not mature enough to make a sensible environment for their kids in the middle of a divorce. You’re just thinking about yourself...who’s out to get you and bitterness and all that. That’s why divorce with kids really bothers me.
You know, a lot of people just aren’t willing to work.
It’s so much easier to just say, “I’m done with you,
I want somebody else.”
Now you’ve been married for ten years now. Congratulations! Yes, we got remarried and had a nice ceremony. We have totally different priorities now that Rodney’s retired from the NFL. We’ve been together twelve years and everything’s been about football. So it’s a whole other attitude we’re taking now.
What was the motivation for renewing your vows?
Because Rodney retired and now all of a sudden he’s going to be home. Since we’ve been married he’s been away half the year. So there was a lot of strain. Now we have time together…And if I’m being honest, I’m used to that schedule. I’m used to having my little “free time,” alone time and stuff. It’s an adjustment for both of us. So we just needed to make sure that we were both on the same page. I think that everybody should get remarried—just to renew and refocus where you’re going for the next ten years.
That’s great.
No matter how great a shape your marriage is in I would highly suggest it. It also gives your kids a chance to be involved. My kids loved it so much. They all had their little matching outfits, and they just enjoyed it.
My daughter used to cry when she watched our wedding video and say, “I was crying because I wasn’t in the wedding. I wasn’t there…” Then I would tell her, “honey, you weren’t born yet, but you can be in the next wedding. “Oh, yea!” She just ate up that spotlight.
That’s awesome. Now, what would you say are the biggest keys to the success of your marriage?
The time that we had apart we’ve turned into a positive. It’s been hard, don’t get me wrong, but we didn’t look upon it as a negative. We looked upon it as a time for us to work on ourselves. It was the life we chose and we just had to make the best of it. And our date night is the most important thing—just getting away without the kids. Going to the hotel…just keeping it fresh—hanging out. That keeps it fun and exciting and we don’t end up feeling like two old fogies with a bunch of kids.
Right—Calling each other momma and daddy…
Exactly, saying, “Papa and Momma…” We try to keep it somewhat exciting and somewhat spontaneous, but you know spontaneity is pretty much gone, so we have to create the spontaneity.
Speaking of spontaneity, Rodney gives Holly a call to touch base… Holly returns to the interview...
He was just calling…first he tells me that “You didn’t call me for a few hours, you don’t love me…” Then he noticed that I was a little testy because I’m tired and he says, “Oh, wait, wait…I’m just joking. I’m just joking, honey! You looked great on Good Morning America. I love you. I’m on my way to Back-to-School night and it’s all good.”
Ahh…Isn’t that sweet. How did you and Rodney meet?
My friend, Lela Rochon—who is an actress—introduced us. She thought we might just have a summer fling or something, but we ended up being together ever since. She’s so funny. Every time she calls and the kids are talking over me—she’s like, “I need to talk to you. Tell the kids to be quiet.” And I’m like, “It’s your fault I’ve got these kids. Don’t get mad at me. If you hadn’t introduced me to Rodney, I wouldn’t have all these kids.”
Where exactly did you meet?
We met at a night club actually and she set us up. He had been on her to introduce me to him. We went to this nightclub and there was this crazy jazz singer who wasn’t that good. So we’re laughing and talking about her and I put some hot sauce on my French fries and Rodney just thought that was so great.
He thought hot sauce on fries was “great?”
He thought it was cute. I didn’t like him yet. When you like a guy that’s when you try to nibble, but I was hungry and I wanted some hot sauce on my French Fries. And he was thinking, “A woman who is not afraid to eat in front of a brother…” But I was like, “whatever…pass the hot sauce!” So he’s looking at me thinking, she’s kind of cool and uninhibited….and it really was just that I didn’t like him that much yet.
But you thought he was handsome when you met him, right?
I thought he was handsome, but I thought he was kind of a player. He seemed like he was one of those bad boys and I was like, “Mmm…Life’s too short.” But ultimately, he really was more ready to settle down than I thought he was. He just needed somebody to guide him along. He’d been the big man on campus almost his whole life. So getting girls was never any problem for him, but keeping a girl and having any meaningful relationship was not something that he was familiar with.
In your book, you refer to your Rodney when you met him as “Good-looking…and more charming than any man had a right to be… Obviously you must not have thought that immediately
No…I didn’t think that immediately. I thought that he was maybe all those things, but I wouldn’t allow myself to fall for that yet.
How long did it take before you knew he was “the one?”
Umm…I’d say, I didn’t really know until we got engaged. Which was about a year. He was the guy that I liked and I thought he could be the one, but until he actually got on his knees and proposed to me—that really just drove it home. You never really know until someone asks you to be the one. So for me, it was when he actually proposed.
That’s a good point. You’re right. He’s actually not the one until he thinks you’re the one.
Yeah, I might have thought about it and wished for it but I didn’t actually know until he made it official.
That’s very good advice for single women.
Yes.
You mention in your book that one of the things you liked about Rodney when you met him was that he is a God-fearing man. With such a busy life-style are you all able to do the whole “Church” as a family thing?
That was one of our vows that we would start going to church on Sundays because Sunday has traditionally been “football day.” Even though Rodney would go to chapel, he wouldn’t go to “church.” And I didn’t go because I was not with him or if I was with him, it would be all about getting ready for the game. So we are looking forward to going to church on Sunday.
Can you even worship inconspicuously somewhere?
Oh yea, well, out in L.A. we go to the same church as Denzel and all them. No one is paying attention to us.
Bishop Blake’s Church— West Angeles Church of God in Christ…
Yeah…We’ll go there sometimes and then sometimes we’ll go to First A.M.E. We go where our friends go. Because we haven’t really had that solid time together as a family throughout the entire year, we go to our friends’ churches and we sort of hop around, we…church hop. [smile]
Right, church hop [smile again]…
But we actually do a lot of our worshipping in private at home and have our own little family time.
Well now you have time to find a church home if you desire…
Yeah, exactly. And you’ll find that even for individuals who are deeply religious that in the NFL it’s really hard to get into a groove…so that’s why they all have chapel. A lot of guys go to chapel on Sunday, but you can’t really “get your church on” as Rodney says, because you’re so focused on winning the game.
There is a lot of negativism and commercialism pulling at our children today via media and society at-large. As a mom, and a Hollywood mom at that—what do you do to ensure that instilled in your children are the values you want them to have—including even, the type of values that you and your husband grew up with?
They are growing up with a lot more than we ever had. But we are constantly making them do chores. It doesn’t always work out but we’re trying that. We also have them pack up their clothes, Barbie dolls, trucks and toys that they have too much of and we take them down to children’s shelters so that they can see kids that have a lot less and at least have some awareness of all that they have and how good it feels to give.
We have our foundation (http://hollyrod.com) so we really love philanthropy. Being philanthropic is the best thing you could ever be and my daughter asked me, “Mom, am I a philanthropist?” And I said, “Yeah, you are,” and she said, “What does that mean?” It means you give to people and you’re always giving and loving and caring about people who have less than you. So we try to lead by example.
What’s one of the most romantic things Rodney’s every done for you?
Oh, the proposal. He showed up on the set of “Hanging with Mr. Cooper” and surprised me, got on his knees in front of the audience…it’s real hard for him to live up to top that one.
Okay, but you’ve been married for ten years. What’s the next most romantic thing he’s ever done.
Our anniversary. He’ll get a hotel, get there early and get my favorite foods…set it all up with rose petals and all that stuff…but every time I think about romance, I think about that proposal. Nothing tops that. Even after ten years he can’t top it.
You seem really grounded and hands-on when it comes to raising your children. I know you must “outsource” as I like to call it, some of the daily grind like cleaning, cooking or shuttling--But what’s most important for you to keep your hands in?
When I can I love to cook for them. I love it when they say, “Mommy I like your food—I love that. I love to take them to school. I love to read to them and tuck them in at night. I like to do absolutely as much as I possibly can and it’s hard because everybody wants you at once and sometimes you can’t be with them all at once. So I love that time right before they go to sleep.
What is the most rewarding aspect of motherhood?
When they tell me that they love me and that they are proud of me. Or when I get dressed up in Mommy-Actress mode with hair and makeup and come down with a slinky dress, they always go, “Mom, you’re cute. I like your hair, and I’m like, “Thanks Robinson that’s so nice.” They validate me and it’s really cool.
Speaking of motherhood, where can we find your line of maternity clothes?
Well I’ve had it for a couple of years and we’re actually getting to move it to another company. It’s been at Mervyn’s Department Store but it will be coming to a bigger store near you soon and I hope to have that news soon.
Do you ever feel out of sorts with other Hollywood moms as a mom who has four children? Isn’t that a little uncommon in Hollywood ?
It is uncommon. Most everyone has one or two. It’s a lot of juggling but you just keep one foot in front of the other. They all stare at you almost like you’re foreign. “How in the world do you do it with four?” People’s momma’s had eight, nine, ten, eleven kids with no nannies, no housekeepers, no nothing. It’s just four little kids. It is hard working and all, but still—people used to do a lot more with a lot less.
Would you like any more children?
I want to probably adopt some more children. But as far as having them myself, I’m sort of done with that. I’m not going on this diet again.
I laugh…Okay, what diet do you go on?
I go on The Zone with no carbs. It works but you’re so angry during the whole diet. You’re so mad. You’re mad at the world.
That’s why I can’t go on those diets.
Oh, I know, but I have to. I have to get back on TV and I had so much weight on me. I’ve done a lot of shows. If you’re not comfortable with the way you look, you better get comfortable because you’re going to have to look at that rerun for the rest of your life…Like that 21 Jump Street hair.
It was in then…
Girl, that was a bad decade for hair, period.
Okay, I need your book. When it comes to sports, I don’t have a clue. You mention in the book that while it took some effort to get into that whole “football lifestyle,” you were able to send Rodney, and I quote, “the all-important message that what he was doing was all-important to [you] as well. Is that an important message that you want to get across to other women who may read your book?
There are a few things: 1) I want to help women who want to learn a little bit more 2) I wanted to really do it tongue-in-cheek and be funny about it and 3) I wanted to pay homage to some of the football greats that came before Rodney—although I think Rodney is a trailblazer too because he paved the way for folks like Donny Mcnabb, Daunte Culpepper and others. He got drafted during a time when they weren’t drafting Black quarterbacks. He just didn’t fit the mold of the quarterbacks—the good ole boys club. He got drafted like the second or third day in the sixth round of the draft. He was already like the number one or two player in the country but all the quarterbacks went before him and four years later, none of those quarterbacks were even in the league anymore.
So I just keep telling him that, “You’re a trailblazer. You didn’t get the big money or the big “this,” the big superstar thing…you’re timing was different…but I’m just really proud of him. So I wanted to give him some props too. It’s also a relationship guide. On the weekends it can be a bummer for women because husbands just like, shut them down. So I’m like, have him go get you something to eat. Make him say, I’m not going to hang with my boys, I’m going to hang with you and watch the game.
That sounds like a good idea! Thank you Holly for helping us get into the game and for sharing with us your passion for marriage and family. We wish you and your family the very best!
Copyright 2005 Keeping Family First. All Rights Reserved
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