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1 of 3 Exclusive Mother's Day Interviews
Cathy Hughes | Lisa Whelchel | Stacia Pierce

An interview with Lisa Whelchel
by Anita S. Lane  

Lisa Whelchel is perhaps best known for her starring role as Blair Warner on NBC’s “The Facts of Life” for nine years. But "Blair" is now all grown up. Lisa is a wife and mother of three children, an author of 10 books, a homeschooling mom and founder of MomTime Ministries and MomTime Get-A-Ways.

Her first book, “Creative Correction” published by Tyndale House, was released in October 2000. The book has sold over 160,000 copies and received a Gold Medallion Nomination in the Family and Parenting Category.

Lisa feels her current role, as a wife and mother, is her greatest, and most challenging, role yet.

Click "Play" to listen to the Audio version of this interview...

KFF:  Good morning.  Lisa Whelchel.  Now, most of us remember you as "Blair" on "The Facts of Life."  You were an actress.  When did you discover your passion for writing?

WHELCHEL:  Not until I was in the middle of or maybe even after writing my first book, "Creative Correction."  I really had no desire to be a writer, no aspirations or dreams, nothing like that.  I never even considered it, but I had come to a point of just desperation with my kids in trying to figure out how to discipline them.  And the top three— time-outs, spankings and yelling weren't working and I didn't know where else to go. So the Lord was giving me some creative ways to discipline my kids.  My friends began to notice and they said, "You need to write all these ideas down into a book." And before I realized what I was saying, I said, "Yeah, that's a great idea, I should do that."

I was contracted by Focus on the Family just based on the idea and
then having been on the TV series, lended some marketability.  Then I realized, oh, wait a minute, I don't know how to write a book.  So it was one of those things where the Lord taught me an awful lot during that process.  And the main thing he taught me was that he's not really that interested in what we have to offer, he's a lot more interested that we just offer whatever it is we have.  So that's what I was able to do, just offer my own experiences, my failures and things I had learned, and in spite of my weakness, because of God's grace and strength and sufficiency, and ultimately he gave me everything I needed to write the book, and he continues to do that.  I'm just sitting here having my Bible study right now and it's talking about dependency and I hope I don't, I
don't think I'll ever depend on myself to write a book because I know if it were up to me I would fail miserably.  But he seems to come through every time.

KFF:  Yes, and you've gone on to write a lot of books which I want to talk about briefly.  Now, to catch folks up, you filmed the last episode of The Facts of Life in March of 1988 and you were married on July 9th of 1988, and ten months later you became pregnant with your first child and proceeded to have three children three years in a row.  What was that like?

WHELCHEL:  Well, it was crazy, because of a bunch of different
circumstances, which God orchestrated perfectly, although I wouldn't have probably called it that at the time because I lost all the money I made on The Facts of Life and so we were pretty much forced to live on my husband's salary.  I wasn't able to get another job and so I was at home. Although I had intended to go back to work, the Lord had other plans for me and he wanted me to stay home with the kids.  So while they were little I really didn't do anything else, I didn't have the money to do anything and didn't have any job and so I was just at home with them all the time and I think that was my saving grace.  I had three kids in diapers, three toddlers and three home schoolers and because I wasn't attempting to do a million other things that I was able to kind of barely pull it off.  And so I think that's one of the things that's hard.  As moms, we're tempted to do so many things, and thankfully God tied my hands so I could only focus on the kids.

KFF:  So you didn't purposely decide to discontinue your acting career at that time?

WHELCHEL:  No, not at first.  I had every intention to be a woman of the 90's and taking my kids with me on the set with me and be it all and have it all.  And God said, “No, I have other plans for you.”  And so after I realized it, I came to a point where the Lord really did say to me,-- because it wasn't that I was fledging for fame and fortune, it was much more the fact that I knew that with my platform on television I could tell more people about Him—but He pretty much made it clear He could use anybody to tell the world about Him, but He could only use me to be a wife to Steve and a mother to Tucker and Haven and Clancey.  So, once I felt that I wasn't displeasing God by not going out and having a ministry, but really my ministry was to my family—from that point on I was able to, with all my heart, excitedly put it behind me and focus on my family and jump in with both feet and love every minute of it.

KFF:  You've written nine books now, or is it more than nine?

WHELCHEL:  Nine or ten.

KFF:  Most of which are on the topic of motherhood, and in spite of its
challenges you seem to enjoy motherhood.  Why do you enjoy it so
much?

WHELCHEL:  I don't know.  You know, I don't know why.  I just love it.  I
love being a mother, I love my kids, I love everything about it.  As a
matter of fact, my ministry in writing books and speaking, that really --
at this point it really is just an act of obedience and also a passion to
encourage moms, but the truth is if I were being selfish there is nothing I would rather do than just be a full-time wife and mother and take advantage of every minute of these years that I have my kids at home. It's just my favorite thing to do.

KFF:  What's the most rewarding aspect of motherhood for you?

WHELCHEL:  I guess those fleeting moments that seem few and far between when you glimpse that your children have actually got it—you know, the things that you were trying to say to them and teach them—that they are doing on their own from their heart.  And I'm seeing more and more of that, but I hope to see more of it in the future where the things that I've been teaching them of God's ways are written on their heart and not just because I'm there and they'll get in trouble if they don't.

KFF:  Right.  Now you travel and you interact with a lot of moms from
around the country.  What do you think the biggest challenge is for moms today and how can we help moms juggle the various aspects of their lives and find encouragement for the journey?

WHELCHEL:  I think that the busyness is really hard and it's hard to be able to feel like you're doing anything well when you're trying to juggle so many things.  It seems to be a common theme that moms feel, is a sense of failure that their kids are bad kids and they're bad moms, and I think that's a common theme.   Even moms who are staying at home and the only thing on their plate is taking care their families. I was at that point too.  I remember asking the Lord about that, because I traveled so much speaking to moms and I'm talking to really awesome moms with awesome families, and we all felt the same way—that we were totally blowing it.

So I remember asking the Lord about it, why is it that so many moms feel like failures?  And I was encouraged when I really felt like he said:
"Because that's exactly where I want them to be.  Because when you think you can do it in your own strength, then that's all that you have to offer is what you can offer.  But when you realize you can't do this alone, that's when you call out to me and cry out to me on behalf of your children and that's when I can reach their hearts from the inside out."

You can only do so much from the outside in, but ultimately eternal change and difference will happen when God reaches their hearts, and he does that in response to our prayers.  And a lot of times prayers of desperation and crying out to Him when we realize we can't do it on our own are the most powerful.

KFF:  Now, you have a ministry called "MomTime" which consists of weekly meetings where moms get together and enjoy friends, food, faith and fun. Tell us about that.

WHELCHEL:  I've done this over a dozen years.  I started it when I had three kids in diapers and I was desperate for adult communication and invited a few moms over for us to play games and cook for them. That first time we just laughed so much and felt so good afterward we realized we got to do this every week.  And I've basically been doing that once a week since then.  Even when I moved to Texas I started up a whole another "MomTime" group.  I only knew one mom, but just invited moms I met on the street, I was pretty desperate, but I knew that I had learned how important relationships with other moms are to fill you up because moms
tend to give and give and give but if you don't take time to receive, you have nothing to give. I think that's where burnout sometimes happen.

My "MomTime" group will be here any minute. So it's one of those things where we all lead busy lives, but it's a priority to get together once a week because we just know that we have so much fun and we love eating good food and being together. It's a selfish thing but also it's a selfless thing because it really does fill us up so we aren't so fried and don't
give our kids the leftovers.

KFF:  You also home school and you have a great book on home schooling called:  "So You're Thinking About Home Schooling." I home school as well. What made you decide to home school?

WHELCHEL:  Well, originally, it was purely a financial decision.  We were in L.A, and public schools in L.A. can be kind of a scary proposition, and we didn't want to send our little ones off into that and yet we couldn't afford private school, and somebody mentioned the prospect of home schooling, so I said well, I'll give it a try.  And we gave it a try and it was a perfect fit for our kids and for our family.

KFF:  And you haven't regretted it and you are still doing it, correct?

WELCHEL:  Yes, absolutely.  We've had lots of different permutations over the years.  We seem to change every year how we go about it, but it's consistently been home schooling and it's been a good thing.

KFF:  We face a lot of challenges with our young people in society
today ranging from drug use, teen sex, depression, suicide, apathy, and other things.  I have heard it said that children and teenagers have not changed but parents have.  Do you think yesterday's parents were better than today's generation of parents?

WHELCHEL:  I don't know what it goes back to.  I think you can --
everybody can blame somebody else.  Teenagers can blame the parents, the parents can blame culture, culture can blame the times and ultimately the times can blame the fact that we're at the end times, and that it is the prince of the power of darkness that is affecting and pressing in on this generation.

So I think ultimately it's just these are harder times to raise kids
because there is more influence and evil influence.  It's a battle and the battle is getting harder and harder.  We are probably working as hard, it's just that our challenges are more overwhelming than twenty or thirty or fifty years ago.

KFF:  What do you think is our solution?  I think you alluded to it.

WHELCHEL:  I think the solution is just the grace and the mercy of God and him working, and just admitting that we can't do this on our own, that it's too much for us, we don't have the power to overcome the enemy or this culture or raise great kids.  And the only way that that will happen is by God's mercy and His grace and we just continue to throw ourselves at His mercy and ask for Him to intercede on behalf of our children and teach our children and strengthen them by His spirit.

KFF:  Any new books on the horizon?

WHELCHEL:  Yes, I have a new book called Taking Care Of The "Me" In Mommy.   It's based on the premise that it's not a selfish thing to take care of yourself.  As a matter of fact, your family's well-being depends on yours and I think, especially Christian moms, tend to feel guilty and there is certainly a wonderful argument to be made for laying down your life for your family, and as Christians we're taught to lay down our life for others.

At the same time, there is just the healthiness of also making sure that you take time to fill up and refuel.  First of all your spirit, spending time with the Lord, that's certainly Biblical, but I don't know that moms also realize that we are created body, soul, and spirit, so we also need to fill up emotionally and fill up physically and take care of ourselves body, soul and spirit, so we'll have something better to give to our families than just the dredge.

KFF:  Right.  I thank you so much for your time.  What we've talked about is just so important and I appreciate the ministry and the effort you're putting together to help moms and I just want to say thank you so much.

WHELCHEL:  Thank you for being so interested and letting me be a part of your wonderful online magazine.  I looked through it and it looks like a wonderful resource and I thank you for considering me.

Copyright ©2006 by Keeping Family First.  

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Copyright ©2006 by Keeping Family First.