What a Difference a Year Makes!
By Cathy L. Wray

Depending on your own personal circumstances, a new year can evoke many different feelings.  If you’ve considered your past year a good year, it may seem as though the time went by way too fast.  If you’ve had a relatively challenging year, you may feel like it’s been an eternity already and thank God it’s over!  Regardless of your past or immediate state of affairs, God has wonderful plans of total fulfillment, completion and satisfaction for marriage in this upcoming year!

The Difference Is You

Frank Sinatra once recorded a song entitled “What a Difference a Day Makes.”  The final verse of the song ends with “… the difference is you.”  Often in marriage it’s much easier to focus on the faults and shortcomings of your spouse.  Without giving it much thought at all I’m sure I can look back over the past year and point out numerous, specific occasions when my husband did or said something that I felt he shouldn’t have.  The problem, however, is that my recollection gets a bit vague when it comes to my own blunders. 

A cousin of mine has a favorite saying, “…just clean up your side of the street.”  You see, if each person would clean their side of the street, the whole street would always stay clean.  Cleaning your side of the street means you must focus on you first.  Matthew 7:3-5 says, “And why do you look at the mote that is in your brother's eye, but do not consider the beam that is in your own eye?  Or how will you say to your brother, let me pull out the mote out of your eye; and, do not see that a beam is in your own eye? …first get the beam out of your own eye; and then you can see clearly to get the mote out of your brother's eye.”  You are the one that makes the difference.

That Was Then, This Is Now

In his letter to the Philippians, the Apostle Paul said, “…brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus”– Philippians 3:13-14 (KJV).  Unfortunately, many times married couples ponder the past with regrets – wondering what they could’ve, should’ve, or would’ve done differently, especially if they’ve recently endured seasons of challenge.  If we’ll take Paul’s advice, times of reflection can become excellent opportunities to set goals for a brighter future.  We don’t have to be doomed to continue the negative cycles of the past.  Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve is gone.  Learn from the things that didn’t work back then, figure out what is good for now, and then throw your past failures into oblivion.

You Determine Your Marriage Outcome
“Stop rehearsing the past and start writing the rest of your story.” – Bishop T.D. Jakes

The good news for married believers is that we can absolutely determine the difference a year makes for us!  If it’s been bad, we can make it good.  Even if it’s been good, we can make it better.  Begin to align your words with the Word of God.  “Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.” – Hebrews 11:3 (KJV). Frame the future of your marriage by saying what God says about you, about your spouse, and about your final outcome.

This Year I Will…:

• Clean Up My Side of the Street
• Set My Sights On A Brighter Future
• Eliminate Negative Cycles From Time Past
• Use My Words to Sow Seeds of Life and Love

• Start Writing the Rest of My Marriage Story

Copyright © 2008 Cathy L. Wray

About Cathy Wray...