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Goal Setting for Great Sex! It is an American tradition to make New Year’s resolutions. Many of us take time to assess our lives, decide where we need to make improvements, and set goals. Loosing weight and giving up nicotine are probably the favorites. But how many married couples take the time to discuss how their intimacy over the past year has been, and make plans to improve it? If you and your spouse have never evaluated your bedroom habits, now is the time to start. Pray and ask the Lord for humility so that you can speak honestly with each other about your satisfaction levels. Are your visits with each other frequent enough? And if you have a home full of wonderful children who have a knack for interrupting, you need to plan to take them to a play date so you can come home and have a play date of your own. One of our favorite scriptures is “…and they were naked and unashamed.” It’s not just about being physically naked, but being emotionally and spiritually naked as well. Married couples must strive to be intimate as the talk. Communication is the key to success. If one partner is not having a great time having sex, you must talk about it. You may even need a mediator. If you do need help, get it. If your nights of passion have been few and far between, once a week may be the right goal for you. Ask a friend to watch your children one evening a week and then return the favor. You will all be so much happier. It is not wrong or unromantic to plan sex. In fact, the busier we get and the older our children are, the more planning it takes. You could spend the day taunting each other until the moment finally arrives. Sending emails or leaving voice messages can be great foreplay. Just make sure your emails will not become office gossip! Success takes planning. So plan to have a wonderful discussion with your spouse. Talk about your sexual needs and wants. I know some of you may not feel like you have any sexually desires at all. You are too tired to even imagine what great sex would be like. Some of you are caught up in self loathing. You feel you aren’t as pretty or handsome as you use to be and you cannot comprehend why your spouse would even want to touch your naked, flabby flesh. God has given your mate eyes for you. And since you are both created in His image—and this sex thing was His idea— get naked and get busy! May you ring in the New Year over and over and over again!
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In God’s infinite wisdom, creativity and loving kindness, He has given us natural experiences to help us better understand His spiritual truths. Sex is indeed one of these phenomena. At the moment of climax, there should be nothing on your mind. As you enter into this euphoria, this unexplainable moment in time, you should be experiencing shalom, shalom God’s perfect peace, peace upon peace. It is a place where you have cast all of your cares on God for you know that He truly cares for you. How else can we explain the marvelous satisfaction of such an awkward, such a strange physical function? And yet, all the pieces fit. The embrace that is experienced by husband and wife in the marriage bed is indeed supernatural. It is a gift from above. As you practice casting your cares while you embrace your spouse, remember to purposely refuse any and all negative thoughts that attack your mind. Your enemy, the devil, will do his best to bring distractions to you as you engage in love making. Many times these thoughts are not evil but they are, nevertheless, an attack. Obviously, thoughts about previous lovers or fantasy lovers, ungodly positions or procedures, are attacks. But when we as women go over our “to do” lists or think about what else we could be doing instead of getting sweaty and messy—like sleeping—realize that this is an attack on our peace as well. Sex is a gift to women as much as it is a gift to men and wives need to be focused and enjoying the moment not just “getting through it”. I no longer have sex “out of duty”. I have sex by faith for pleasure and peace. I enjoy the moment with my husband. We vanish from the world as we embrace each other and enter into a space of time where we are free from all responsibilities; we are an island unto ourselves. We have cast our cares and the power of God creates a hedge of protection around our marriage so that no weapon formed against us can prosper. Every marriage deserves to experience this level of intimacy. Every wife needs to know that God wants her to find pleasure and perfect peace in the marriage bed. Every husband needs to understand that it is better to give than to receive. It takes faith to please God, and so sex by faith is extraordinarily pleasing. Those who lack wisdom are instructed to ask God for He is faithful and will supply all needs. Getting over the awkward feeling of asking God to help you have sex by faith is a step of faith itself and therefore will not go unrewarded. Step into faith and step into perfect peace. May your marriage bed be blessed forevermore—a place of perfect pleasure and peace. Shalom. Shalom. Copyright ©2005 by Sarah Low Hunter
What Sex Is a poem by Sarah Low Hunter Sex is not a toy. Copyright ©2005 by Sarah Low Hunter |
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