Life Full of Passion and Purpose is Waiting for You!
Author Valorie Burton Shares Her Story and
Offers Practical Tools for Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose!

 A Keeping Family First Exclusive Interview
by Anita S. Lane  

A woman of tremendous wisdom and insight, Valorie Burton helps individuals discover their God-given purpose and pursue it.  She is a sought-after life coach, motivational speaker and author of Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, Listen to Your Life, and What’s Really Holding You Back? all published by divisions of Random House, Inc. 

A woman of faith, Valorie has spoken at events for some of the nation’s largest churches, including The Potter’s House in Dallas, Lakewood Church in Houston, and New Birth in Atlanta.  Valorie is the former co-host and co-producer of the national daily television program, The Potter’s Touch with T.D. Jakes. Valorie has also served as the on-air life coach for KXAS-TV (NBC/Dallas) and two, nationally-syndicated morning shows on the ABC Radio Network for two years.  She is the “resident” life coach for WPGC (Heaven 1580) in Washington, DC. 

At age twenty-four, Valorie founded the Burton Agency, a marketing and public relations firm that helped companies shape their image and create messages to positively influence customers and increase sales.  She sold the business in 2001 to pursue her passion for helping people, women in particular, live more fulfilling lives. 

Valorie is a former Miss Black Texas USA, Miss Black USA ‘top 10’ finalist, and a runner-up to Miss Texas . She is also creator of the annual Texas Trailblazer Award luncheon, which honors trailblazing women.  Valorie resides with her husband in the Washington D.C. area.

Valorie is truly a trailblazer in her ownright.  I encourage you to purchase and read every sentence of her books.  They are truly profound, God-inspired and life-changing.

I am honored to have her share her passion with the Keeping Family First Family.

Valorie, what does it mean to live a “more fulfilled” life?  
It means knowing your purpose and finding joy in every day life.  Living with purpose in every area of your life—particularly in five key areas—your spiritual life, your physical health and environment, your relationships, your work, your finances and resources.

How did you discover that helping individuals, and women in particular, live more fulfilled lives was your passion?  
I had an epiphany.  I was standing in a Barnes & Noble book store when I felt God say that I was to help individuals and women in particular, live more fulfilled lives.  I had prayed about it for about a year and a half.  Looking back, all of the signs were there.  I enjoyed encouraging people, writing, and I have a passion for helping people discover their passion.    I remember discovering Les Brownon a PBS special when I was in college, and I thought, “Wow!  I would love to do that.”  It was always in the back of my mind, but I thought maybe after I’m 40 and I’ve had more life experience.

Everything in my background…marketing, PR, the degree in journalism and the pageants… it was all preparation for what I’m doing now.  The signs were there, I just didn’t put it all together.

Most people are living their purpose to some degree, even if they have not identified what it is because it is something that flows naturally from you.  If I’m talking with someone and asking them questions, within a few minutes, I am often able to help them discern their purpose.   Many people know what it is, but just don’t do it because it may mean stepping out of their comfort zone or making significant changes.

How did you muster up the courage to step out and do your own thing—launch Inspire Inc. which provides resources to help people live more fulfilling, less stressful lives-- Especially without any models?   
For me, if God says to do something, then I just have to do it. I had fear, but fear is not relevant.    I just began writing.  In 1999, I self-published my first book, Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, and I knew how many books I would need to sell in order to break even— and it happened in the first month.  Random House later bought the rights to it.  “Life Coaching” came later.  It was the one-on-one manifestation of what I was writing and speaking about.   Cheryl Richardson was another life coach who was a model for me. 

When and how did you first learn of the term Life Coach/Life Strategist?  
It was about three and a half years ago. I was working for NBC.  They first called me a "Life Strategist."  It evolved into the term, "Life Coach," but I was like, “No, that’s not what I am.”   However, once I looked into it further, I realized that Life Coach was what I was doing.  I had been calling myself a "Life Enrichment Specialist."  I thought that title was a little long, but folks liked the enrichment” part of it.

What was your first real break?  Was it the book?  
I guess I would say the self-published version of my book.  It got me the media interviews and my first feature story in the Dallas Morning News. 

What’s the biggest hurdle you’ve had to overcome in pursuit of your passion? 
The temptation to be impatient, frustrated.  Whatever your purpose is, you must stick with it and persevere. 

How did you overcome it?  

You need to decide that, “I won’t do anything other 
than what God created me for.”  

You must make a decision.  It’s just that simple.  I would be miserable just working a job or doing anything other than what I’m doing. 

Who has helped you along your journey to fulfilling your passion?  
God has placed people in my path in amazing ways.  Emma Rodgers, a bookstore owner in Dallas, was the first to carry my first book, Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, which I self-published.  She offered me an opportunity to attend the American Booksellers Association book expo in Chicago .  She said I would have to get there and be willing to give away 150 books.  So I paid my way, got there and gave away books.  Then the editor from Random House was walking by my table and stopped and started asking me questions.  She was looking for a fiction book but she took mine, read it on the plane and called me when she got off the plane. 

Then there’s the General Manager for T. D. Jakes’ national daily television program, The Potter’s Touch.  They were looking for a co-host for his program.  I had just joined the church recently and they didn’t know me.  I was coordinating the Texas Trailblazer Award luncheonand had asked Mrs. Serita Jakes to do the invocation for the event but she was out of town, so they sent someone in her stead.  It was the general manager.   We hit it off.  I was traveling promoting my book and was in town that night and they called to ask if I could host the show.  I thought they were calling to invite me to be a guest on the show.  That could only have been God’s divine hand opening a door of opportunity. 

Then during the last show I did for The Potter’s Touch he asked me to serve as a guest with three other ladies.  After we had finished the show the producer asked him to ask one more question regarding where we saw ourselves in the future.  Now I had gone the entire taping and had not mentioned that I wanted to write and speak.  Cheryl Martin, author, speaker and former BET anchor, was sitting next to me and said, “Hey we’re on the same path… I have a friend who is an author and my friend’s publisher is considering new authors.”  I sent my proposal, but I forgot to put my bio in there. 

Nevertheless, I got a call back.  The editor said they love your books but they don’t know anything about you.  That’s just how God works.  My agent was sending my book proposals to the major publishers and they were saying, “We like Valorie but this is too Christian.”  As it turned out, Waterbrook is a division of Random House.  I’ve written two books with them and I plan to write more books with them as well.

That’s the kind of thing that happens when you’re on the right path?
Yes.  God will orchestrate it.  But that’s why you need to listen to your life.  If you don’t know your purpose and you’re not operating in it, when you try to connect with others they’ll get the sense that they are not talking with the “real you.”

Have you ever had “nay sayers” in your life who tried (perhaps even being well-meaning) to discourage you from your dreams?  How did you handle it? 
I don’t even pay that any attention.  I had a few folks say, “are you sure you want to let go of The Burton Agency, or that said “are you sure you don’t want to do both?”  But I didn’t want to do both.  I didn’t want to do proposals…God removed that from me.  But I didn’t let that stop me. 

There were other individuals who said, “Go for your dream.” 

For some women, they feel being married and having to tend to their husbands or assist them with their dream can be a hindrance to them fulfilling their purpose.  How can a woman be a “help suitable for” her man, be happily married and fulfill her purpose?  Can these three things coexist? 
It’s all part of the same plan.  People like to separate everything out.  If you’re married, your career should not supercede your marriage and your family.  If you’re excited about your purpose and you know exactly what you’re supposed to be doing, but your spouse doesn’t, be sensitive to your spouse.  Begin asking him about his dreams and getting him thinking of his own possibilities and it becomes easier to receive the support you may be missing. 

So since we’re in this together, we should help one another.
Absolutely.

What should someone do if they’re reading this and they just feel, “stuck?”  What’s the first step to getting un-stuck? 
Get a vision. Sometimes we’re stuck because we’re bogged down with the day-to-day routine.  You want things to be different but you don’t take action and things don’t’ change.  Then things don’t change and you’re not inspired to take action.  It becomes a cycle.  However, you must break the cycle.  You must take a step forward.  

Baby steps are better than no steps at all.  

Just keep moving forward and you’ll build momentum towards your vision. It may mean stepping out of your comfort zone.  It may mean making less money for a while.  But sometimes we have to make sacrifices for what we truly want in life.

The July 2005 Keeping Family First challenge is to “Reconnect with what matters most.”  Can you lay out some practical ways for our readers to reconnect with the people and things matter most?  But first remind us why it’s important to reconnect.

In my book, Listen to Your Life, I devote the first chapter to the subject of “connecting.”  First of all, we’re way too busy.  And if we’re too busy that means we’re too noisy.  We’re too busy to hear from God or ourselves.  We must have a heart-to-heart connection other people. We need to hear from other people and not burn bridges.

We’re way too busy. We’re too busy to 
hear from God or ourselves. 

When we’re too busy to connect to what matters most, we’re unhappy.  We cannot make decisions wisely.  We must be deliberate about making the connection with God, ourselves and others.

Any parting words?  
Fear is inevitable.  You’re going to feel fear, but it is not a stop sign.  It’s just part of the process.  Be willing to move towards your dreams in spite of feeling fear.  

You’re going to feel fear, but fear is not a stop sign.

If you feel fear, it probably means you are on the right track!  If there’s no fear, you probably aren’t being challenged.

Valorie, thank you for sharing your passion.

Visit Valorie Burton online at www.valorieburton.com 

and on her Life Enrichment Challenge advice column on Black America Web.

The July 2005 Keeping Family First/
Valorie Burton challenge--

RECONNECT!

I encourage you to take Valorie’s “Reconnect” challenge to the Keeping Family First family this month.   Valorie offers us simple, practical strategies.

Connection is Key to Discovering Your Life Purpose
by Valorie Burton

“Connection” involves connecting to God, yourself and others.  Connection leads you to your life purpose. As you connect personally, spiritually, and relationally, you begin to recognize key indicators regarding your unique mission or purpose in life.  When you pursue that mission, you walk onto your unique path that leads to extraordinary success.

You determine your purpose by determining your most important values, and then identifying what you are passionate about.  Passion is the desire and excitement God places in your heart for a particular cause or activity.  Your purpose is the point at which your values meet your passion.  

1)     Create daily spiritual habits for yourself.  I suggest developing three daily spiritual habits.  In my book, Listen to Your Life, I list some of the ways you can incorporate spiritual connection into your daily life: 

1.      Praise and worship.  Praise God for the life you’ve been given and worship Him with your life.

2.      Pray.  Communicate your thoughts to God.  If you can think, you can pray.

3.      Meditate.  Quiet your mind.  Stop talking and start listening.

4.      Count your blessings.  Put life into perspective.  Count at least ten blessings everyday!

5.      Keep a spiritual journal.  Consider keeping a written record of your prayer requests, answers, inspiring moments, and life challenges.

6.      Write a letter to God.  This is an intimate way of strengthening your relationship with Him.

7.      Read your Bible and spiritually uplifting books.  What you feed your mind will ultimately be revealed in your attitudes and actions.

8.      Enjoy nature.  Take a walk.  Listen to the birds and enjoy the gentle breeze.

9.      Pay attention to the “sermons in stones.”  Tune in to the lessons all around you via situations, people and God’s Word.

10.  Quiet down enough to hear that still, small voice. (try going a day—or some portion of it) without television, radio, the newspaper or the internet).

11.  Trust your inner voice.  Don’t sabotage your own success by failing to trust your inner voice.  While you must first quiet down enough to hear the voice, it only becomes valuable to you when you trust the voice enough to heed it and act on it.

2)     Make your morning deliberate.  Create a morning ritual which includes habits that enrich your life.  I have a ritual of about eight things I do each morning which includes exercise, eat breakfast, read the Bible, pray, worship, write (journal).  I also light an aroma therapy candle and I read a scripture or an affirmation to get in the right frame of mind.  You must figure out what habits you could incorporate to your day that would enrich your life.

3)     Ask yourself, “How can I be a blessing to someone else today?”  We don’t realize just how much we impact other people’s lives—even in the simplest ways.   If you’re driving and another driver wants to get over, let them get in front of you.  Will you really get to where you’re going any faster if you don’t?  That person could have been in a great mood and you just and you just ruined it.  Now when they get home they’ll pass that mood on to his spouse and children.

4)     Journal.  In your journal ask the right questions—the tough questions. I’m not trying to be a stickler about when, how long and how often you should journal, but when you do, ask yourself the questions that will help you gather information about yourself that will help you along the path of personal and spiritual growth.   Three types of questions you need to ask yourself are:

1.      Expansive Questions— These questions are designed to expand your thoughts beyond your current experiences.  They invite you to take a peek at a bigger dream.  They challenge you to see the big picture.  For example, “How would it feel to earn three times as much money?” or “In what ways would you have to change in order to have the kind of marriage that others aspire to?”

2.      Probing Questions—These “why” questions help you to understand the reasons for your actions and reactions along your path.  For example, “Why did you react that way to this particular situation?”  The purpose of a probing question is to explore your feelings and provide information that will empower you to change your thoughts and ultimately your actions. 

3.      Action Questions—These questions  challenge you to move forward in some way.  “What are you going to do about it?”  “What is the next step?”  and “When is the deadline?”  If your discoveries don’t result in action, there is no point in asking the questions.

(More on this topic can be found in the book, Listen to Your Life, by Valorie Burton)  

Copyright ©2005 by Keeping Family First.